At first, I was totally fine with my gap year. The summer flew by, I traveled here, there, everywhere. Then came fall, which mainly consisted of me putting off studying for the GRE. I started to freak out about life and trying to make sure I was opening up to all the opportunities around me without closing doors. It was a lot of doors to keep open. I started a small business, which was fun till Christmas came and went. Winter had hit. Winter was tough, I saw so many friends from high school and college, who seemed to have all transitioned seamlessly from college. I felt stuck. I didn’t really want to apply for jobs since I was fairly certain I would be going to grad school in the fall. Who would want to hire someone that was leaving in a few months? I was just hurrying up and waiting. I felt like I was lying to you, my readers. I wasn’t living The First Apartment Life. I wasn’t living on a budget with my own place. Charlatan.
Perhaps others of you have felt the same (maybe?) but as spring rolled around, I was feeling pretty bleak. Everyone kept asking me where I had applied to grad school. Where did I want to go? When would I find out? What were my chances? More and more questions from every person I knew. I hated it. I was constantly worried as I checked my email. It would be this little game I played with my phone. Download all the emails, and then read the subject line before I opened them.
Then it happened. I got an email from my dream school. I was freaking out before I even opened it, I waited anxiously for the first three lines to download on my phone because I didn’t want to open it before I knew. I had to prepared myself. Dear Katherine…. Oh god, here it goes I thought. Congratulations! My heart stopped. Suddenly, all was right in the world. My first thought was OMG I actually got into a grad school! It took a good 48 hours for it to finally dawn on me that I got into my dream school. Then of course, I spent the next 48 hours freaking out whether it a was a good school (even though its ranked #1) because clearly, why would they let me in if it was good?
Now that it has been a few days, I have a much brighter outlook on life (well until August when I get overloaded with work). I feel like a large burden has been lifted off my shoulder. I have been happily over preparing for school in the fall and already searching for apartments these past few days! I no longer feel like a charlatan and am excited to share all the exciting times as I prepare for this new step! Hopefully, this will spur a bunch of new creative ideas (especially since my budget will be tighter than ever!).
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